People say that hindsight is 20/20. I believe that God calls people to specific places for specific times, and all of us have different callings. It’s funny how I believe that God is in control but sometimes it’s hard to see in the moment how He’s working. It is so powerful to look back and reflect on what He’s done. I could go on and on. Sometimes it’s hard for me to talk about and easier to write about.
When I was in 6th grade they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, and they published it under our names in the yearbook. I said ‘Accountant’. Funny thing is now I am a Certified Public Accountant. If you asked me in my senior year of college what I wanted to do when I grew up, I would tell you that I had no idea. 4 years of education. 2 majors and a minor, and I didn’t really know but I would tell you that I wasn’t keen on accounting – seemed boring – and I liked my other major, Spanish, so I thought for the time being I’d pursue that. A partner at the accounting firm that I interned at thought that I’d become a hippie and not pay social security. Well that never has been true but it took me a couple years to ‘find myself.’ I’ve been in public accounting for 10 years now.
When I left college I went back to New Jersey and was a Spanish teacher for a couple years. All throughout college I told people that I thought that I needed to marry a guy from New Jersey. I guess God had placed that on my heart. As it turns out I met a guy who grew up a couple blocks away from me but we never met until after college. This guy is now my husband. For years in college I felt that I wasn’t going to meet my husband there – I was going to meet him in New Jersey – and that’s exactly what happened.
Fast forward a couple years. All throughout college my dad marveled at western Pennsylvania, where I went to college. He liked the culture and the affordability. He was always looking at houses and showing them to me. Then when my husband was in the military, especially when he was overseas deployed, we would dream together of owning a home in Pittsburgh. It helped to have something to look forward to. We wanted to settle down and start a family in a place where we could afford to buy a good sized home. For about 3 years we dreamed about this and then it became a reality, and for the past 10 years we’ve now lived in Pittsburgh.
You may say to yourself that you don’t have stories like this but I promise you that if you live by faith in the God of the Bible you will, but more importantly you’ll know that He calls you to know Him. I’ve been playing this song over and over again recently and it keeps hitting me, and I encourage you to play the YouTube version:
“As You Find Me” by Joel Houston, Matt Crocker & Benjamin Hastings © 2018 Hillsong Music Publishing CCLI: 7124065
VERSE 1: I’ve been strong And I’ve been broken within a moment I’ve been faithful And I’ve been reckless at every bend I’ve held everything together And watched it shatter I’ve stood tall and I have crumbled In the same breath
VERSE 2: I have wrestled And I have trembled toward surrender Chased my heart adrift And drifted home again Plundered blessing Till I’ve been desperate to find redemption And every time I turn around Lord You’re still there
PRE-CHORUS 1: I was found Before I was lost I was Yours Before I was not Grace to spare For all my mistakes And that part just wrecks me
CHORUS: And I know I don’t deserve this kind of love Somehow this kind of love is who You are It’s a grace I could never add up To be somebody You still want But somehow You love me as You find me
VERSE 3: Who am I To think Your glory needs my praises But if this borrowed breath is Yours Lord Take it all You are faithful and You are gracious And I’m just grateful To think You don’t need a single thing And still You want my heart
PRE-CHORUS 2: I was found Before I was lost I was Yours Before I was not You wear the scars For all my mistakes And that part just wrecks me
TAG: Your love’s too good to leave me here
BRIDGE: If You want my heart I won’t second guess ‘Cause I need Your love More than anything I’m in I’m Yours Your love’s too good to leave me here Your love’s too good to leave me